Friday, June 20, 2014

Procrastinated

Remember how I always ranted, thinking snobbishly about how different I wanted to live my life. Giving in to my narcissistic personality, slowly feeding poisoning my ego...oh how childish of me to think I will never move on further than I am now simply because I felt contented with what I have. 

But as always, I'm a person full of many contradiction, going against ideas/plans that I have already laid its foundation and only to tear it down again.

Many times I hate to think about my future because of some scum who thought I will always remain the same, maybe it's the resentment I hid deep inside me that's causing all the weird emotional turmoils in me now. Or it could be that adventurous spirit inside me that craves uncertainty and loves a good challenge...

Actually I didn't feel all those strange restlessness again until yesterday when I opened my letter box...
 Like some cheesy movie, I stood rooted to the ground trying to reason to myself. "Oh what the fuck has I done again?". In all seriousness, I wanted to pursue a dream that I had 7 years ago, trying to fulfill a promise that I had with my father. I believe he doesn't even remember what I said but for 7 years it haunted me, even when I'm sleeping those words continued to mock me. 

I need a change. I want to change. 

Coup d'etat

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